This was epic! Really cool story, and well written. Story felt rich and filled with mystery. Loved the poetic tone. Nice one!
Cool to see a locally inspired story. Could really feel the main character, and imagine the other characters.
Like how exploring around affects the story.
Also had a very polished look and feel. Awesome to see how much you got out of Twine!
Some critical points:
Would maybe break some of the sections into more scenes to keep player interactivity going. It sometimes felt a bit intimidating to be faced with a large wall of text all of a sudden.
Also, it was a bit hard to "follow" - if you catch my drift haha?
Thanks so much! I really appreciate that. I've found it to be pretty scary to write and actually put it out there for people (besides my wife) to see.
I agree with you about length. Initially I wanted to vary it to kind of break the flow, but the pages with the long text are intimidating. I'll keep that in mind for the next interactive adventure.
Ha ha! I still struggle to 'follow' ;) When I first put that in it was about twice as fast and I was using a trackpad and got so frustrated! When it was slower it was super easy. I don't think I found the exact right speed, but it's at least do-able!
Thank you for taking the time to play and let me know about it.
So I played all the way till the end and I'm definitely going to play it again. The way the story is woven is in itself such a mystical experience but what really sets it apart from any other book I've read is the way that the words literally come to life.
I love how you've built this with the aim of conveying the emotion in the story. The word animations really help to set up the mood and even heighten it at some points.
Wow the writing is very poetic in our opinion,but in a good way.
Love how the choices lead to other situations, I’m not sure if the player was supposed to be able to go back and chose another choice?
Either way that’s a good comeback mechanic (we think) especially when the Grootslang makes a comeback and the situation the player is in feels hopeless, But then we have the chance to go back & change their decisions in order to get to the objective.
The game could have at least had some graphics(like pictures) to make it even more engaging. Finishing the game also was kinda easy.
Overall good story and we’ve concluded with 3 stars.
Thanks so much for the feedback! I really appreciate it. I definitely want to look into forking endings and greater consequences for choices.
There were only a few places that I wanted to restrict choices in favour of experiencing the full story.
I'm not sure I understand your take on the Grootslang returning, but am so happy about different interpretations. I tried to stick lots of symbols about.
Thanks again and I'll definitely be taking this on board if I manage to do a 1.1 :)
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This was epic! Really cool story, and well written. Story felt rich and filled with mystery. Loved the poetic tone. Nice one!
Cool to see a locally inspired story. Could really feel the main character, and imagine the other characters.
Like how exploring around affects the story.
Also had a very polished look and feel. Awesome to see how much you got out of Twine!
Some critical points:
Would maybe break some of the sections into more scenes to keep player interactivity going. It sometimes felt a bit intimidating to be faced with a large wall of text all of a sudden.
Also, it was a bit hard to "follow" - if you catch my drift haha?
Really enjoyed this :)
Thanks so much! I really appreciate that. I've found it to be pretty scary to write and actually put it out there for people (besides my wife) to see.
I agree with you about length. Initially I wanted to vary it to kind of break the flow, but the pages with the long text are intimidating. I'll keep that in mind for the next interactive adventure.
Ha ha! I still struggle to 'follow' ;) When I first put that in it was about twice as fast and I was using a trackpad and got so frustrated! When it was slower it was super easy. I don't think I found the exact right speed, but it's at least do-able!
Thank you for taking the time to play and let me know about it.
So I played all the way till the end and I'm definitely going to play it again. The way the story is woven is in itself such a mystical experience but what really sets it apart from any other book I've read is the way that the words literally come to life.
I love how you've built this with the aim of conveying the emotion in the story. The word animations really help to set up the mood and even heighten it at some points.
Well done.
Flip! Super humbled by that, thank you!
I'm a teacher and most of the writing that I've done recently has been worksheets and project sheets for kids. Oh, and an education blog.
I was/am still anxious about people reading my writing. This game jam has given me more confidence.
Again, thank you so much.
Wow the writing is very poetic in our opinion,but in a good way. Love how the choices lead to other situations, I’m not sure if the player was supposed to be able to go back and chose another choice?
Either way that’s a good comeback mechanic (we think) especially when the Grootslang makes a comeback and the situation the player is in feels hopeless, But then we have the chance to go back & change their decisions in order to get to the objective.
The game could have at least had some graphics(like pictures) to make it even more engaging. Finishing the game also was kinda easy.
Overall good story and we’ve concluded with 3 stars.
Thanks so much for the feedback! I really appreciate it. I definitely want to look into forking endings and greater consequences for choices.
There were only a few places that I wanted to restrict choices in favour of experiencing the full story.
I'm not sure I understand your take on the Grootslang returning, but am so happy about different interpretations. I tried to stick lots of symbols about.
Thanks again and I'll definitely be taking this on board if I manage to do a 1.1 :)
Oh, and also make sure you keep playing once the Grootslang is dead. That's only the first part :)